Quotations
THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other do it outside - I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to kick you into the middle of next week."
My mother taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case your in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at the dirt on the back on your neck!"
My mother taught me STAMINA
"You'll sit there till all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you; would you then listen."
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father."
My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
THANKS, MUM!
Unknown